Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 16


“They’ve taken my man flower!” - Alex


“Dude, she went to fucking Africa or some other place they keep lots of Black people like Watts or something.” - Dante

In this “refried-fucking-diculous” episode (Alex said it) Dante and Alex discuss their Top Five Guilty Pleasure Films, Dr. Who, rewriting Taken and switching Liam Neeson and his daughters places, a new segment titled Who Would You Rather?, Alex’s Penis Update, Martin Slacks shows up again to proclaim his love of all that is Eddie Murphy, Dante suggests a baby kill itself after sucking Selma Hayek’s boob, and the show goes off the rails after that. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows. Click here to find Dante on Twitter and here to find Alex.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 15


“I know shitty movies like the back of my hand. That’s terrifying.” - Alex


“If he fingered her you would see his fingernail come out the top of her head.” - Dante

In this episode Dante and Alex talk about Captain America, Planet of the Apes, Hangover 2, Sucker Punch, Alex reviews Arthur, Sleeping Beauty, Mickey Rourke’s new film Passion Play plus our hatred of Megan Fox, Dante goes on an epic tirade about Bjork and Dancer In The Dark, the Comedy Awards, Lonely Island, Alex's broken penis, and the terrible films coming out this summer. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 14


“I paid $9 to sit in a theater to get skull fucked by mediocrity and failure.” - Alex


“If you saw the trailer and then went and saw the movie and didn’t like it you’re a fucking retard because I don’t know what you were planning to see.” - Dante

In this long awaited episode Dante and Alex discuss the weekends Top 10 Films at the box office, movie reviews of Drive Angry, Limitless, Punisher War Zone, The Mechanic, Sucker Punch, having sex with cartoon characters, try to solve the riddle that is Christian Slater’s career, the Top 5 (?) Cartoons Of All Time, and some guy named Martin Slacks shows up. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows! Don’t forget to stick around at the end for some surprises!

Monday, April 4, 2011

JUDGEMENT!: Catfish





Catfish functioned off of the same marketing brilliance that The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity utilized, promising audiences a massive payoff of spectacle at the end of an (allegedly) true documentary. While Blair Witch and Paranormal both are admittedly fictional, however, Catfish rode the majority of its press junkets insisting that all the materials held within were, in fact, 100% factual. And regardless of the content, any event that promises, overtly, that all of its contents are COMPLETELY true is obviously broadcasting the notion that what you are about to view is simply TOO incredible to be true. In the case of Catfish, however, nothing could, in fact, be further from the truth.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

JUDGEMENT!: Whatever Works



In what is becoming an exercise in writing more concisely, I’m going to try to eviscerate a work from a few years back (Dante keeps you up-to-date on modern cinema, while I review things that I can dig up at the local library) in the most succinct way possible. I watched, Woody Allen’s Whatever Works recently and was absolutely appalled by the pathetically low-caliber tone that engulfed the entirety of the film.