JUDGEMENT!: In Time

Sometimes when I write these reviews I wanna sound like a little kid. I don’t always want to devote even a paragraph to some movies I watch. With this one I just want to shout “This is stupid!” and throw my toys on the ground and walk away. But I wont do that. You all deserve to be warned about this dumbass film. The director Andrew Niccol who wrote and/or directed The Truman Show, Gattaca, and Lord of War. So he has the ability to do good. But with this nonsense? Nope. Its like he didn’t even try.

The movie stars Justin Timberlake (Friends With Benefits, Yogi Bear, Social Network) is Will Salas. He’s a young man living his life on the clock. Literally. In this future or whatever the hell it is everyone is given 25 years to live until a glowing clock on your arm starts ticking down the amount of time you have left before you die. Why? Don’t know. How do the clocks work? Is it science, magic, or a digital Jesus? Cant tell you. Don’t know. His mama played by Olivia Wilde (House MD, Cowboys & Aliens, The Change Up) is celebrating her birthday. Yeah, she is 25 as well. They stop aging as well. Fuck me. They don’t even say how this occurs. It just does.

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 24

“If you think rumors are bad now, imagine when you couldn’t even have pictures to corroborate the evidence.” - Alex


“I go to church. I do not watch cult films.” - Martin Slacks


“Every dude, if they got a robot, the first thing they’re gonna do is look through the manual for the sex setting.” - Dante

In this long ass episode Dante and Alex discuss The Big Bang Theory, Moneyball, The Ides Of March, Drive, the fact they missed their 1 Year Anniversary of The DNA Show last week, a surprise visit from Martin Slacks, the Top 5 movies at the box office, and the Top 5 Comedians Of All Time. Click here to get some DNA Show on your face.

JUDGEMENT!: The Ides Of March & Real Steel

I don’t wanna right off the bat call this a political thriller because its not. I also don’t want to call it a drama because The Ides Of March is more than that. I’m having a hard time describing this film but what I can say is that I really enjoy it. If you had told me that a movie about a guy running for office would be one of the best films I have seen this year I would have said “Who are you and how did you get into my home?!”

I cant cover this like I do many of my reviews because there are far too many actors in it who put in such great performances. There is a scene where George Clooney (Oh Brother Where Art Thou?, Burn After Reading, The American) and Ryan Gosling (Drive, Crazy Stupid Love, Half Nelson) go back and forth with each other in a verbal tennis match that should inspire anyone that wants to be an actor. Philip Seymour Hoffman (Punch Drunk Love, Moneyball, Capote) has some very good scenes where if he were going up against anyone other than Paul Giamotti (Sideways, Win/Win, American Splendor) would have gotten chewed up and spit out.

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 23

“That’s a lot of dick.” - Alex


“The second thing I’ll say in prison.” - Dante

The lords of the dance are back! This week Dante and Alex cover last weekends Top 10 Films, review Real Steel, 50/50, Killer Elite, The Thing, and also the Top 5 Creature Features. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows!

JUDGEMENT!: Drive

“If I drive for you, you give me a time and a place. I give you a five-minute window, anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours no matter what. I don't sit in while you're running it down; I don't carry a gun... I drive.”

I didn’t even want to see this movie. I saw the trailers and commercials for it and it looked like a chase film and if Vin Diesel isn’t driving in a chase film or if it wasn’t made in the 70’s I probably wont like it. But a co-worker told me to see this and after his recommendation on Devil’s Double I decided to check this out. Twice. Yes, I went to The Grove and saw this movie two times in three days.

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 22

“Someone told me that he was skinny and literally went ‘No, no fucking way. He’ll never get skinny’ just out of pure spite.” - Alex


“Well no one’s ever shot up a school because they were a fan of Lady Gaga.” - Dante

In this technical difficulty laden episode Dante & Alex cover the Top 10 at the box office, Scarlett Johansson nude art, Facebook vs. Google+, movie review of Drive, Sherlock Holmes 2 trailer, Alex’s hatred of Marilyn Manson, Jonah Hill’s weight loss, The Lone Ranger, Resident Evil: Retribution, Thor 2, a Scarface reboot, a Sarah Palin documentary, have a discussion about whether or not Rated R makes films better, comedians translating to film, and Turtles Forever animated movie. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows.

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 21

"Sexy vampires do not equate to sexy Frankenstein." - Alex


"I'm sorry. I turn into the Kool-Aid Man when I'm horny!" - Dante


The boys are back in town! Top 10 movies of the weekend…sorta, Scarlett Johansson nude pictures, Spiderman reboot, Warrior, Trollhunter, horror film responsibilities, the inevitable arrival of internet TV, Evil Dead remake, complaints about Terra Nova, changing old films like ET and Star Wars, Charlie Sheen faking going crazy, Alex chastises Dante for not watching Dr. Who, publicly funded art, top 100 comedies lists, and the Top 5 Worst Remakes/Reboots Shit That Should Not Be Made Films. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows.

JUDGEMENT!: Warrior

Due to the anniversary of September 11th 2001 and a generally slow box office this movie will probably not get the praise or box office totals it deserves. Warrior is one of those types of films that come out once in a great while. Luckily The Fighter from last year came out and made boxing movies seem relevant. This one focuses on MMA (mixed martial arts) and I believe that even if you’re not a fan of the sport, fighting movies, or violence that you will still see this movie and like you. Hell, you might even shed a tear or two. There are spoilers below.

JUDGEMENT!: Apollo 18 & Horrible Bosses

This time I’m gonna give you all a twofer since neither one of these films warrants a full review. And yes, there will be spoilers. Up first is Apollo 18 starring Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen and Ryan Robbins as three astronauts manning the Apollo 18 spacecraft.

The format of the movie is kinda strange and could’ve been awesome if used in moderation. Cameras from the shuttle and the crew members tell the tale of two of the astronauts walking on the moon and collecting specimens. There are strange happenings going on however and if you happen to miss them because of the grainy camera ass camera the shot actually pauses and focuses on what you should’ve been able to see.

JUDGEMENT!: Mortal Kombat Legacy

It had to have been like late last year when the Mortal Kombat Rebirth came out and I saw it. I watched it and was immediately screaming “When is this being made into a movie?!” I mean, as much as I love the first Mortal Kombat film, it was lacking in so many areas. Still, nothing like watching Goro get punched in the nuts by Johnny Cage.