Bitchfest: Digital TV

You know what’s cool about having your own blog? You can bitch about whatever you want and have people all around the world read it. The DNA Show has fans in the U.S, Latvia, Germany, the U.K, Ireland, France, Italy, and Malaysia. Which means they will all hear me complain about digital TV.

This new series of articles will be called Bitchfest. Just complaints about anything involving entertainment that we, young Alex and I, don’t discuss on The DNA Show. Today’s complaint about digital TV is that it sucks. It flat out sucks. Before the digital conversion I had rabbit ear antennas. And they worked perfectly fine. If a channel did not come in I just moved the antenna an inch or so and voila!

Not so fast.

With digital TV when it doesn’t work it doesn’t fucking work at all. A message comes up telling you to call a number. You call the number and it tells you to go online. You go online and it tells you to keep scanning or look into buying a better antenna. Fuck you.

I head to an electronic store and buy a new antenna. Its flat and can hang on the wall. Its white and can even be painted to blend into whatever wall color you have! This is an amazing device. Too bad its not for my analog TV. Its for HDTV. Again, fuck you.

I do dozens of scans and move my antenna all around the place. Nothing. I even moved my place around to get better reception. I search online where my nearest tower was and aimed my antenna at it. Nothing. Then one night it decided to work for a few hours before tapping out again. I had given up on ever being able to watch TV at home unless I broke down and bought a new TV or an expensive antenna.

Enter Youtube.

Tonight I come home to a black screen and shake my damned head. I go on youtube and see what people are doing to fix this. Lots of easy fixes that seem too easy. Some people made big ass towers of their own to get more signals. I do not have the option to build a 6 foot antenna just to watch Cops and TMZ. One video showed a way to get a signal using a paperclip. I watched waiting to be “Rick Rolled”. I didn’t happen.

I grabbed a paperclip, stuck it in, and ran a scan. TV worked! What. The. Fuck. No expensive ass antenna needed. No new TV. No more rearranging my apartment. No more missing shit I actually want to see on my TV. Yeah, I know that TV is pretty damned bad and there’s almost nothing good on. But I like knowing that if I do want to watch something, I can. Thank you, paperclip.