The Dante & Alex Show Episode 16

“They’ve taken my man flower!” - Alex


“Dude, she went to fucking Africa or some other place they keep lots of Black people like Watts or something.” - Dante

In this “refried-fucking-diculous” episode (Alex said it) Dante and Alex discuss their Top Five Guilty Pleasure Films, Dr. Who, rewriting Taken and switching Liam Neeson and his daughters places, a new segment titled Who Would You Rather?, Alex’s Penis Update, Martin Slacks shows up again to proclaim his love of all that is Eddie Murphy, Dante suggests a baby kill itself after sucking Selma Hayek’s boob, and the show goes off the rails after that. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows. Click here to find Dante on Twitter and here to find Alex.

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 15

“I know shitty movies like the back of my hand. That’s terrifying.” - Alex


“If he fingered her you would see his fingernail come out the top of her head.” - Dante

In this episode Dante and Alex talk about Captain America, Planet of the Apes, Hangover 2, Sucker Punch, Alex reviews Arthur, Sleeping Beauty, Mickey Rourke’s new film Passion Play plus our hatred of Megan Fox, Dante goes on an epic tirade about Bjork and Dancer In The Dark, the Comedy Awards, Lonely Island, Alex's broken penis, and the terrible films coming out this summer. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows!

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 14

“I paid $9 to sit in a theater to get skull fucked by mediocrity and failure.” - Alex


“If you saw the trailer and then went and saw the movie and didn’t like it you’re a fucking retard because I don’t know what you were planning to see.” - Dante

In this long awaited episode Dante and Alex discuss the weekends Top 10 Films at the box office, movie reviews of Drive Angry, Limitless, Punisher War Zone, The Mechanic, Sucker Punch, having sex with cartoon characters, try to solve the riddle that is Christian Slater’s career, the Top 5 (?) Cartoons Of All Time, and some guy named Martin Slacks shows up. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows! Don’t forget to stick around at the end for some surprises!

JUDGEMENT!: Catfish

Catfish functioned off of the same marketing brilliance that The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity utilized, promising audiences a massive payoff of spectacle at the end of an (allegedly) true documentary. While Blair Witch and Paranormal both are admittedly fictional, however, Catfish rode the majority of its press junkets insisting that all the materials held within were, in fact, 100% factual. And regardless of the content, any event that promises, overtly, that all of its contents are COMPLETELY true is obviously broadcasting the notion that what you are about to view is simply TOO incredible to be true. In the case of Catfish, however, nothing could, in fact, be further from the truth.

JUDGEMENT!: Whatever Works

In what is becoming an exercise in writing more concisely, I’m going to try to eviscerate a work from a few years back (Dante keeps you up-to-date on modern cinema, while I review things that I can dig up at the local library) in the most succinct way possible. I watched, Woody Allen’s Whatever Works recently and was absolutely appalled by the pathetically low-caliber tone that engulfed the entirety of the film.

Christian Bale Makes Everything Better

While watching some of the latest internet videos that have been getting tons of attention, I, Dante, figured that they would be better with a little Christian Bale sprinkled in. Because, honestly, who doesn't need a little Bale in their lives?

JUDGEMENT!: Limitless

I wasn’t super excited to see this movie. I had seen the trailer and it had me hooked until it looked like it was becoming this kinda chase film. Oh, don’t you love bad marketing? The trailer actually misleads you but not in a good way. Lots of movies the past few years either feature scenes that aren’t in the movie or flat out show you the entire film. This one says “This is what happens!” and makes me not want to see it.

The movie stars Bradley Cooper (The Hangover, Alias, A-Team) as Eddie Morra, a lazy writer who gets dumped by his girlfriend played by Abbie Cornish (Sucker Punch, Bright Star). She knows he can be better but he just cant. Eddie bumps into his ex wife’s brother Vernon played by Johnny Whitworth (3:10 To Yuma, Empire Records, Gamer). Vernon offers him a clear little pill to take that will change his life.

JUDGEMENT!: Sucker Punch

“If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.”

Holy shit. I swear. I was excited about this movie months ago after Alex told me about the trailer. I watched it, wiped my pants off, and patiently waited until this came out. Some people said it looked silly. Some said it looked like it wouldn’t be good. I said “I don’t care what this movie is like. If there are hot chicks wearing almost nothing and shooting robots and shit, I’ll see it.”

I got what I wanted! I got what I wanted and more. I will try not to spoil this too much because I want people to see this movie and still have some surprises if they see it. Before I get started allow me to state how amazing the soundtrack for this film was. I will be buying it this week because I haven’t gotten this many goose bumps from music in a film since Goodfellas and Snatch.

The Dante & Alex Show Episode 13

“Can you imagine being married to the dude who made Pi? Can you fucking imagine that? Like, that would be an every day hell. That would just be a daily reminder of what is depressing and sad in this world.” - Alex

“That‘s the thing. Its like they did the right thing as they did--why the fuck is Hulk Hogan on American Idol?!”- Dante

In this episode Alex and Dante discuss the weekends top ten movies, Battle: Los Angeles, another Spiderman on Broadway injury, Wonder Woman, Wolverine‘s director leaving, Wrestlemania, the 3 Stooges movie, Tangled, the Akira live action film, Japan, Alex has a nervous breakdown, and for some reason world issues. Click here to download this and past DNA Shows!

JUDGEMENT!: Battle: Los Angeles

“I’d rather be in Afghanistan.”

So would I after watching this film. Who are you people that like this film and keep it in the top ten? I love films full of explosions. I love films full of violence. Aliens? Yes, please! But this film, though having all of the above, lacks one thing I need no matter what the film is. No, not a story (seeing as how Hudson Hawk is one of my favorite films).

People I care about.